Entries For: August 2007
Thanks everyone for all your best wishes
Lately it seems all blog entries by me or about me are about crashes! I can only hope things will improve and I can start blogging about fun stuff like cycling and winning races.A big thank you to everyone for all your kind words and thoughts over the past week. I've had emails, phone calls, text messages and home visits from concerned and supportive friends.
A special mention and thank you to Carl for looking after me at the crash site and for trying to keep my spirits high since. I now have the perfect excuse to not laugh at his jokes!
Rich and Bev looked after my bike and car and Bev has been calling almost daily to make sure I'm OK. Sue Dundas (BBN secretary) went miles out of her way on Saturday to come and collect Emily and take her to Siemans so she wouldn't miss out . Much appreciated!
I'm off the morphine tablets and have just started taking plain old Panadeine Forte which aren't nearly as good. I'm taking ibuprofen as well. For the most part the pain is under control provided I don't move quickly, sneeze, cough, talk or breathe. Conversely I'm supposed to take deep breaths and cough occasionally as shallow breathing from broken ribs can lead to pneumonia. Sleep time is the worse. It's almost impossible to find a comfortable position and when I do drift off to sleep I wake up a couple of hours later so stiff and sore it is impossible to move or roll over. I end up waking Ann who helps me move.
I have another doctor's appointment on Monday. Depending on who I speak to it can take 6 weeks to 6 months to fully recover from broken ribs. Stuff that. I hope to start gentle riding on the wind trainer next week and am aiming to be there at the start of the summer track season. I'll be way under prepared but I'll be there.
Again, thanks to everyone who has contacted me.
The war's not over but I'm winning the battle
Carl suggested I blog my post crash experience as it may be useful for others to see how I coped with the aftermath of my crash a couple of weeks ago. So here goes...
I don't exactly know why I was so badly affected by this crash. Apart from the usual aches and pains, bruises and grazes and a cracked helmet I wasn't really hurt too much. And I have "crashed" at DISC twice before. But those two were easily explained. Too slow on the banks, wrong tyres and not concentrating are a sure recipe for slipping off.
But this one wasn't so easy to explain. I still don't know exactly what happened. I haven't got closure so to speak and maybe that's what has freaked me out so much. The fact I was traveling at 50kph at the time (HRM verified!) and the very distinct and memorable thud as my head hit the boards has also haunted me.
There were a lot of mixed emotions in the following two weeks. There's a lot of pressure to be a "proper tough guy". (It's only a flesh wound...). After all we supposed to be testosterone filled he-men even if we do shave our legs and wear lycra. However in my case I felt it was important to admit to my fears and my hurt. Call me a sook if you want to, but I've always tended to wear my heart on my sleeve.
Advice from the people around me was conflicting. On the one hand there were those who subscribed to the "Get straight back on the horse" theory. Then there were those who said "Don't rush it. Wait until you're ready"
So it was with a huge amount of trepidation that I returned to racing DISC last Thursday exactly two weeks after the crash. I left home not sure whether I'd be brave enough to race. The plan was to warm up and see how I felt before I donated my $10. I got there early while only a few riders were on the track. That was important I think. It gave me time to do my own thing for a while. I was very nervous but bit the bullet and raced.
And I raced OK. I finished all the races, even winning the first sprint of the points score. But I was never assertive or aggressive and left a lot of room around me. I let some gaps open up here and there when I sensed danger and never did I try to force my way into half gaps. From a race tactics point of view it was bad but hey....So I'll be back this Thursday still somewhat apprehensive but with renewed confidence. The crash demons haven't completely gone but I think I can beat them.
The body has healed but the mind hasn't
I bounced back remarkably well for an old fart after my crash the other week. Sure I was sore for a few days but I still put in a solid week's training and managed a three hour ride with Bev and Carl on Saturday.
Then on Sunday I returned to the location of my Waterloo and did the masters training at DISC. Let me tell you I was s#!t scared. I was almost trembling with anxiety/fear from the moment I got on the track. My legs felt like jelly. I couldn't hold a wheel. I couldn't wait to get off. I hoped and prayed we wouldn't be doing any "up high" stuff and sure enough I never once went above the blue line. In the 30 lap warm up and the 40 lap "take a lap" race I gave everyone a wide berth leaving enough space around me to drive a Mack truck through.
So the body may have healed but the mind hasn't been exorcised of the crash demons.
I'm worried about Thursday night....